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Day 6: 122lbs

Stupid fucking interfering friends. Just stay the fuck away.

Day 5: 122lbs

B: nothing
L: piece of chicken and two green olives
S: 3 pieces of coconut cake. 7 chocolate digestives
D: nothing

Fuck me. I'm still full from my 'binge'.
Just keep losing. That's the plan. 13lbs to go - 25 days left. So thats 0.5lbs a day. I can do this.
Next goal is 116lbs by next Friday. 

Day 4: 123lbs

Had a shit nights sleep but other than that a fairly standard day. Only thing is that I was super tired and so eating more :/

B: 1/4 granola bar
L: 1/4 piece of bread, 2 olives, 2 spoonfuls of noodle broth
D: nothing
S: 1/2 a banana

Calories: 150cals (just under)

Day 3:124lbs

I'm not really sure why the weight isn't coming off as fast. Hopefully I will get onto a pound a day more or less from here onward.

B: nothing
L: half a banana
S: half a kiwi
D: nothing

Haven't been able to sleep for whatever reasons. Hence why I'm on here at 2:41am when I need to be getting ready for school in 2.5hours. Tomorrow is going to be a tough day.

Day 2: 125lbs

Still 125lbs.

B: nothing
L: half a banana - purged
S: sugar free redbull
D: small piece of chicken, potato

Weighed in before dinner as well so im slightly like wtf. Anyway, just keep going.

When I purged the banana there was blood and my stomach was feeling so odd - nauseous ironically. Hopefully nothing.

Day 1: 125lbs

Right. I have realised I have never posted my stats on here, despite spending half my life on here moaning about my weight. So here goes.

StatsCollapse )

Seems like its so difficult to hit that goal weight but the reality is that I could do it in 4weeks no problem if I focused. So that's what I'm gonna do. 4 weeks to lose 16lbs. Game on.

The plan for today is 1/3 of a can of baked beans: 110cals

Its 12:46pm at the moment so I figured if I have the beans for lunch around 1:30pm that will keep me going till the end of the day. Got plenty of stuff to be getting on with it shouldn't be a problem. Still have this stupid chemistry coursework to complete which is just a massive shit on my life at the moment. I need to just concentrate and finish it but I just don't have a clue really. I feel like this is going to stop me from getting the grades I need and then everything I ave been working so hard for all my time at school will be fucked up by one piece of coursework. :/

Also about to start Eating Behaviour in Psychology. Awkward times. Even more so as I am fairly certain my psychology teacher knows.... Oh well. She hasn't said anything yet so probably wont so I should just think of this as being the perfect opportunity to use my inside knowledge.
The purging has been out of control recently. Any kind of emotion and I have to purge even if I've not eaten anything. I am getting so tired, every day is just exhausting. I cant even be bothered to try and hide it all any more. I feel like everyone knows but I'm just not thin enough yet for anyone to do anything. I wonder if that's all I want... for people to care. For me to be so thin that people are scared for me.
Been gradually losing this week which is good. Will be 17.2 (BMI) by the end of this week - no excuses- Then hopefully 16.9 the next week and back to school at 16.4 or less.

Only thing I'm worried about is restricting when I'm going t be at home the whole time and with loads of food in the house and the inability to purge. Especially as I will be revising and stuff :/

We shall have to see how it goes. All I know is that I have to be less by the time I go back to school. I've got three and a half weeks so that's at least 6lbs less, Christmas is not an excuse.

STRESS

Fuck me I'm Stressed. I never used to be the stressed type but now I feel undoubtedly overwhelmed. I have an interview on Tuesday which is really important so I will be focusing on that solely. Then on Wednesday I will have to sit two mock exams and a timed essay without any preparation. Thursday I will have a test and I also need to find time to do this coursework prep for Friday. Then Its work on Saturday and I need t find time for xmas shopping before the Thursday and I have another mock on the Monday and will have loads of catch up work. BRILL. At least then its end of term and I can relax! EXCEPT then its more working and revision and even more annoyingly Christmas.

I literally sound like a grumpy old woman but I just need a day where I have nothing to do and nothing to worry about. Seems I wont get that until after exams so about feb.

Foodwise everything has been fairly normal. Not eating too much, sticking to my limits but not really loosing so not good at the same time. I think a fast tomorrow might help kick start things a bit, easier said then done when Im stressed and there is way too much food in the house.
Oh wow. I have a lot of stuff to do and no time. -stop breathe think- because next week will be non stop.

Im trying to work out which would be better. A god nights sleep or cramming.
Im gonna go with cramming. Cue the loud fast tempo music.

Will weigh myself later and add.

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